Sunday, October 17, 2010

Being reborn in the rain

I gave a lesson in relief society about baptism and being reborn. I think that is one of my favorite aspects of baptism. We can be cleansed with pure water and be reborn. How many times in my life I have wanted to jump in a lake or stream and come out reborn. A fresh blank piece of paper. Starting new and at square one. The problem is that I am realising that the process of being reborn is a little more complex then just being submerged under water and being cleaned up and wiped clear of all our imperfections.
We come into this world as little sponges, sucking up everything we can get close to. How many times have we despised something our parent say or do, yet we find ourselves saying or doing that exact same thing. We mimic those around us and learn how to be humans from those close around us. That would be primarily our parents or care givers. Our parents , in good intentions, raise us up to be the best adults we can be. As hard as they try, they make mistakes. Some would even say their parents have screwed them up for life. Whatever ones case may be, we are all defected. We all have faults and have chips and cracks all over us from bumps and falls along life's bumpy and windy roads.
I find myself right now on a road that does not look familiar to me. I have never been on this road before in my life. I find myself lost, frightened and with no reflection to remind myself of who I am. There are no mirrors to look at and no one to tell me who I am. Along the way I see people in near by villages . One of these villages is a cute little village set up along the sea shore. I stop for awhile and look into their life's . Some people have beautiful bodies, beautiful homes and beautiful families. They live by the nature of water. They flow in and out of life gracefully. Things seem to come easily to them. They embody feminine beauty and sexuality from the waters. It would seem like they have it all on the outside. I want to stay but I am afraid. I am afraid of not being beautiful enough and am not sure how to embody their feminine beauty.
Along my way down this road I find a group of travelers. Their clothing is humble, their back packs are full of items they have picked up along their way. They can tell me of adventures they have taken, people they have met and the new talents they have learned along the way. They belong to mother earth and the universe is their guide. They follow the wind and are not earth people. I long to follow them but cannot. My fear of the unknown is too great.
I find gardeners along the way that feed me with their food and knowledge of the earth. They collect herbs and know of their healing benefits. I long to stay and play in the earth and learn from the earth people but cannot. I am afraid of her creatures and don't know how to get dirty. I don't know how to plant myself and stay rooted in one place.
I keep going and night falls upon me. Along the way I see a fire through the trees. It is the fire dancers. These are women with long wild hair and art graven into their skin. They live in the trees during the day and dance in fire during the night. They sing of passion and dance with love. They are wild and unstoppable. Their gift is healing with fire and moving fire within all of us. They are cast out from the towns and cities because of how intense they can be. They live in passion. I want to stay and learn of their ways but I cannot. I am too afraid of burning myself and opening the passion in me.
I continue my travels. Miles down the road, I find myself in a barren desert. There is no water, no wind, nothing that fire can burn and the earth is dry and barren. I fall to the earth in exhaustion. Where am I. How did I get here. There is not a soul in sight. I have lost my way and do not know where to go. I am all alone in this world.
Where do I belong. I am not a water women, I am not a wind child, I am not an earth elder and I am not a fire dancer. Who am I? Where do I belong? Is this world my world? Do I belong here?
I was born to the sun keeper and sent to my earth mother. I was meant to be an earth priestess but I lost my way. I forgot who my earth mother is and was afraid to look at the sun. How do I find my earth mother again. How do I become my mothers earth child when I cannot find my mother earth? She is all around me, yet I cannot see or feel her? Did she leave me or did I leave her?
As I lay on the desert floor, I feel despair, fear and abandoned. I have given up finding my earth mother. I don't belong to these people. I can feel my body and spirit drying up like the desert floor and I can feel myself seeping into the earths soil. I am ready to give up my spirit and release my body. I am done. I can take no more.
As I feel the world around me turn to blackness I feel a cool wet drop on my face. Tears stream down my face. The tears keep coming. The tears run down my face and soak into the soil beneath me. I lift my eyes open and look into the sky. She has found me. My mother found me. She had been watching over me the whole time. In desperation she tried communicating to me but I had been blind until the moment of almost loosing me broke her heart and the sky broke loose with her tears. The tears running down my face were her tears for me.
I have found my mother and have been reborn, immersed in her tears of love for me. I am a daughter of the water, I am a child of the wind, I am an earth elder and I am a fire dancer. I am an earth daughter. I am my mother earths daughter. She will never forget or abandon me. She is all around me in the soil, in the plants and herbs, she is in the wind that cools my skin in the sun, she is in the water that quenches my thirst, she is the fire that keeps me warm at night and she is in the rain, That cleanses me and gives birth to my spirit and soul.
I am an earth daughter of the divine mother.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Program to train for a 5K

Week one: Walk for 6 minutes, then jog at an easy pace for 1 minute. Repeat 3 times. Aim for three sessions with that same sequence for week one.

Week two: Walk for 5 minutes, then jog for 2 minutes. Repeat 3 times. Aim to do three sessions in week two.

Week three: Walk for 3 minutes, then jog for 4 minutes. Repeat 4 times. Aim for four sessions in week three.

Week four: Walk for 2 minutes, then jog for 5 minutes. Repeat 4 times. Shoot for four of those sessions in week four.

Week five: Walk for 2 minutes, then jog for 8 minutes. Repeat 3 times. Do four of those sessions in week five.

Week six: Walk for 2 minutes, then jog for 9 minutes. Repeat 3 times. Try to do four sessions for week six.

Week seven: Walk for 1 minute, then jog for 11 minutes. Repeat 3 times. Do four sessions this week.

Week eight: Congratulations on making it to week eight! For your first run this week, try walking for 5 minutes to begin and end the workout, and run for 20 minutes in between. By the end of the week, try to run for 30 minutes without stopping.

Aim to run for 30 minutes four times a week, and you'll notice that your stamina and fitness will continue to improve. Soon you'll be ready to run your first 5K!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Study done in 1999 on breech birth

Upright Positioning in Breech Births
An Obstetrician’s Impression

Photo of Dr Andrew Bisits

Since the beginning of 1999, 60 vaginal breech births have taken place using the BirthRite Seat at this hospital. One obstetrician has cared for these women. Unless the mothers had given birth to a previously big baby (larger than 4000 gm) they all had CT pelvimetry to ensure pelvic adequacy. In addition, an ultrasound was performed to assess fetal weight and head circumference. All the women and their partners received extensive counselling about the process of breech births and possible associated procedures. Risks were discussed, along with the safeguards that were in place in the face of these risks. Thirty-five women were primigravidae and twenty-five women were multigravidae.

During labour, most of the mothers did not have any form of analgesia. Only three of the women had epidurals. Once the epidural wore off and the mothers were ready to push, they used the BirthRite Seat as did all the other women.

A very important part of the care of labouring women at our hospital is taken by the midwives. Besides the positive effects of the continuous mental-emotional support they provide for the labouring mothers, there are a good number of midwives at our institution who feel confident with breech births. In addition, the one obstetrician attended all these births.

During the second stage of labour when there is a strong pushing urge, the women are seated on the BirthRite, with their partner supporting them from behind. The baby is monitored continuously. Should there be any perception that the contractions are inadequate close to the birth, Syntocinon is used to augment these contractions.

The baby’s body delivers spontaneously. The legs are not touched. An episiotomy had to be performed in only three out of the sixty mothers, due to fetal heart rate decelerations. Once the baby’s body is out to above the umbilicus, the mother gets up into a supported squat to encourage further descent of her baby. The shoulders are allowed to deliver spontaneously. If this does not happen reasonably promptly then they are swept out. L√∂vset manoeuvre is not used routinely but only in more difficult cases. In 50% of cases the baby’s head immediately follows the shoulders. If the head does not deliver spontaneously then it is flexed out with a finger in the mouth of the baby.

Photo of breech birth on Birthing SeatPhoto of breech birth on Birthing Seat

There have been no difficult births among the sixty mothers. All the babies have had good Apgar scores and there have been no cases of asphyxia. There has been one fourth-degree tear among the sixty women. This occurred in a woman who had an adequate pelvis and a small baby (2860 gm). No other cases of significant perineal trauma have occurred. One mild case of Erb’s palsy occurred in a second twin (unplanned vaginal breech delivery). This resolved by the time of the mother’s discharge from hospital. There have been no cases of significant birth injury to the baby. Only one of the babies weighed more than 4000 gm. The largest head circumference was 38 cm.The average was 34 cm.

This Birthing Seat seems to facilitate descent of the baby through the birth passage. The mothers can achieve excellent pushing and there is good access to the baby should manipulation be required.

80% of the mothers say that sitting on the BirthRite feels like a good position in which to push, in that the position on the seat assists them with focusing on this process.

Internal statistics of vaginal births show that, at our hospital, approximately one-third of mothers give birth on the bed, one-third give birth kneeling and just under one-third use the BirthRite Seat. The seat was designed by an experienced Midwife-Practitioner and introduced at our hospital in 1994 after a three-month trial and assessment period.

— Dr Andrew Bisits, FRACOG
Specialist Obstetrician
Newcastle NSW Australia

Tugging along

Ive started to revamp my diet . I haven't had a whole lot of ambition lately. I cant seem to figure it out. I'm pretty happy most days and I would say my moods are pretty constant but I cant seem to get the want to do anything. Someone mentioned it might be a slight case of depression. I have all these goals like reading 2 books in a week (I have a pile of 20 that I have to read), go running every day, some day complete a half marathon, lose 50 lbs., get my Doula certificate and start eating 80% raw. So far I'm about 60% raw and that has only been the last 2 weeks. Ive decided to stop buying unhealthy food and stop eating out as much so that I'm not tempted to eat all the junk. Problem is that I'm married and Chris has little interest in eating healthy so he likes to be the devils advocate and seduce me into eating junk (it really doesn't take much to break me). On the plus side, I have started juicing wheat grass, I'm taking wild yam, a female hormone tincture and red raspberry leaf tea to help with my hormones. We'll see how it goes. My goal is to read The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by the end of this week.
Ive also been looking at taking herbs for the liver. A lot of sites list Dandelion, Burdock, Chamomile, Licorice and Milk Thistle as being really good herbs for the liver. I found a recipe on for a liver cleanse. It looks pretty simple so I might try it this weekend and see how it goes.

Liver Cleanse Recipe

Liver Cleanse Juice

This is an excellent liver cleanse recipe that I have adapted from about four or five other liver cleanse recipes that I have tried over the years. I have supercharged it with a few extra ingredients, but have put the main, base ingredients in bold to highlight the essentials.

I would recommend doing this over the weekend, and in the morning. It is particularly effective if you have undertaken some light exercise such as walking or jogging prior to the liver cleanse as this helps to get the toxins moving out of the body and invigorates the lymph system.

After the juice I would also recommend some breathing exercises to help the lymph flow on its way!

The Recipe for the Ultimate Liver Cleanse!

Serves 2

  • 2 large grapefruits
  • 4 lemons
  • 300ml of distilled water (or filtered)
  • 2 tablespoons of Udo’s Choice (or cold pressed flax oil
  • 1 teaspoon of acidophilus
  • 1-2 cloves of fresh garlic
  • 2 inches of fresh root ginger
  • Optional: a dash of cayenne pepper!


  1. Squeeze the juice of the grapefruit and lemon into a blender
  2. Next, grate the garlic and the ginger, and then using a garlic press, squeeze this into the juice
  3. Now add the water, Udo’s and acidophilus powder and blend for 30 seconds
  4. Add more ginger/garlic to taste

This juice contains all of the most potent liver cleansing ingredients, and gives your liver a gentle flush and the opportunity to heal itself. There are no side effects to this drink, apart from a bit of garlic-breath for a while. However, the grapefruit removes most of the odour.

I have also been told that this is the most incredible hangover cure in the world – so it might be worth bearing in mind just for that! It contains everything you would need to cure a hangover (vitamin c, omega 3, probiotics, water, ginger) so I can see how it would work!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Weight: 171.5

Today has been good...and bad. This morning went by pretty smoothly. Didn't have any hunger pains. It's been interesting because my sugar cravings and junk food cravings are basically gone. That part has been good. This afternoon got a little harder. My stomach started hurting and I just wanted to eat something solid. I started doubting myself and wither I could actually do it. I keep telling myself just 6 more days, it's not going to kill you ect...
Well onto day 5. Hope this starts getting a little easier.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010



I'm averaging 2.5 pounds lost a day so far. That is with the first two days eating dinner. It's amazing that I've lost that much weight already and I havn't even started into the full cleanse yet. Today is my first day doing ONLY juice. And my first day starting the salt water and tea. Funny enough the salt water is the part I am not looking forward to. I actually like the lemone juce. It seems to really hydrate and lift my spirits. It helps too that spring is finally in full bloom. Chris and I have the most amazing view nature has provided for us right outside our living room window!


weight: 173.5

I did really well all day. Had hunger pains that would start but go away after a drank the lemon juice. Feeling really good. My moods have been a lot better. I have more happy days than not. I still feel anxiety now and then but it's more manageable. I think the biggest results I have seen is the presence I have of my body. I'm more in tune with what I put in my body and how much I have been eating. I realize now how much work I was putting on my digestive system and how my eating habits were totally out of control. I feel more at peace in my body.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


So I came across the master cleanse. Thought I would try it. It's 10 days of eating nothing and only drinking lemon water made of 10 oz water, 2 tbs lemon juice, 2 tbs grade B 100% maple syrup and cayenne pepper. So far it's been really good. For the first time in a long time I haven't had stomach pain. That's partially why I wanted to do it. I think my stomach has been going into over kill with all the binge/emotional eating I have been doing. I think it needs a well deserved rest. I have done a 5 day vegetable juice fast before and I LOVED it. We'll see how I do with this.
You can find more information on the cleanse by either searching Master cleanse on the Internet or go to
Weight: 176.5